this is what I ponder
considering what it is
what I co-author*
sometimes without even
realizing the very footing
I take as my own
I look and I look out
looking out, might I
bar that very pristine
ground of being,
which I emanate as,
when I look
and in the looking
that I mistaken
once as anything
other than pristine
and existence reveals
itself again and again
and in that between
there I am
not necessary to
catch it (!) no
as it is casually &
carrying on carrying on carrying on
birthing / rebirthing
gently, as if
I am gazing
upon a newborn fawn
breathing in the delicacy
and knowing it
the pristine I am
the pristine we are
emerges as visible
spectrum out of
hum and spin
oscillation of sight
* to choose either the co-authoring of misery & unworthiness or co-authoring of joy and worthiness ~ I have Mario Martinez and his seminal book, The MINDBODY Code (Sounds True, 2014) to thank for these profound insights and deep experiential touching into this “healing field”
as we go
infuses lesser known
gods of titration
just under foot
It arrived as seeming magic yesterday morning
like a new reality being seen for the first time
and remains today sharing its glow still.
This touch comes via its recognition –cold but not
A distinct warmth arrives unbidden. The eye
is relieved of its usual work on these mornings
Dispensing with its familiar taint formed of other
kinds of vapor, which we gather throughout our
day to day interactions with this stuff of reality.
Hoarfrost permeates much the same in its blanketing
of every surface nook and cranny, defying gravity, comes
only when called out by the elements, its conspirators.
Colors shift and change, the light dances new dances
–a communion of deep appreciation of living things
that have their own mastery and workings reaches me.
This day to day eye softens its course, lays down its tools,
puts aside whatever ways it’s become accustomed to
seeing the world and takes an in breath, yes, breathes in.
San Cristobal, NM
10 January 2015
I notice there are things
tend to notice
There is what I notice
to take note
Is there something we notice
what seems to be
everything stays in one place
eyes toes nose
How you don’t leave
everything comes with
When orientation is fixed
things return to
Again and again
How often do I agree
even in writing
Flame light of fire
29 September ~
My writing calls me, calls me here to place words outwardly that otherwise are fluid within. Vulnerabilities within anchor me, without hand holds, to the vastness of space within my heart and beingness. Sometimes this spaciousness is so vast, I can feel lost even when there is no where to go.
My contemplative fire within burns as an ember, low, gently warm, waiting to be rekindled in this autumn moon. It feels both awkward and tender, to write now. Coaxing something of that which is waiting to revive. I read the words of others, tenderness arising as the recognition of spirit in the life lived.
30 September ~ the following morning ~ The sun is softened, softened by somewhat heavy skies. The morning has a timeless quality, still under covers. I wake later than usual and my body/mind has a harder time sleeping late. It’s as if there is some deep confusion between waking and sleeping. The body aches, which gives a feeling to stay in bed. Staying in bed brings a different kind of weight, which impacts the whole. The house is quiet. I’m not the only one sleeping later today.
I long to write about the simple, everyday things on the material plane. I often write from the more subtle regions of the consciousness, the awareness of all that is. Then the object of awareness becomes the expression and the way of expression through language. This object is not so satisfying to the actual, physical life, the beingness in the body and of the body. And yet, these two are inextricably joined.
Instead, I take up a book with words written in the way that soothes and nourishes my soul and being. I can enjoy these writings. Maybe I don’t have to be the one who writes in that way. I live that way, so it’s there; that day to day touching in, with tenderness, to the material plane. I feel the elementals there with me. I love to acknowledge that connection. I don’t always acknowledge them, but when I do, I really love it and there is communion instantly!
[The song In Everything (Momosona) by Chris Rosser comes up on Pandora: https://www.pandora.com/#!/music/song/chris+rosser/in+everything+momosona ~ check it out, if you like.]
I just have to write today. The days, months and weeks have gone by since visiting here, since inhabiting this space of page, words, laying down the companion words as they come, many companions. The times have been challenging for me, quite, over the last two months, possibly longer too, but especially the last two months. And now I am here.
After turning and turning in the night and dreaming layers of thoughts and images in between, I’ve woken to a new day, a bright day. What I may have looked to and anticipated once doesn’t always seem enjoyable another time; what once felt comforting and companionable, now has spines that I hadn’t noticed earlier. Or so it seems.
The world as it seems is so incredibly receptive to all that is present in the day, circumstances, and timings. I’ve had so, so many insights in the process of this challenging journey of late. Many, many sweet insights, dear insights that I do feel the rightness of this particular way, this particular experience for me in my life at this time. That feeling alone is quite an arrival in itself. Each insight is like a new companion along the way, as they have a presence, a communication, and a connection within.