Tag Archives: life

The Green Tumbling Down

note: This poem was written some time ago, back in 2007. Partly due to a conversation about experiencing challenges in my life, the time of letting go and dying that autumn is naturally, as well as ALL the feeling that is so incredibly alive and stirred up at these times with everything occurring at this time, I looked for this poem here and realized I had not ever published it on Contemplative Fire. I wrote it years before I ever dreamed of starting a blog to share my poetry. I share it with you today. Deep blessings to you.

To remake oneself while the house
is crumbling all around you,
That is the finest dream there is:
to take to heart all that is true and real
by the measure which no one owns but you.

I had to climb in from the back side door,
someone else’s entrance, to save what I’d lost.
Even then the pieces no longer made sense,
others’ notions of decorum and amorous play
remained and needed casting out, a wild gesture,
which nearly cost my last ration of aliveness.

How can we take someone else’s word? A word is spoken,
a word uttered, is uniquely its own, cannot be held,
cannot be possessed: only given free rein within.
And yet I seemed to have made a house of words,
too often borrowed and put into service unawares;
no wonder this crumbling, going to pieces.

How to build, when instead those former structures
long to crack and spread under their weights,
the weight, the waiting in time? Let them. Let them.

So, I found myself riding the falling staircase
as it clamored to the ground.
I found myself, capacity clear and centered,
like riding a wave and knowing my own,
landing unscathed, vitrified, transformed.

I found myself abiding in a radiance akin to the sun,
a light burgeoning a peace like none of another’s making.
A peace that could only come with the calming
of the many internal storms, a peace harboring itself,
casting its wonder as lines to the shore,
the shores of partiality for this very heart.

This undoing in the making, the making in the undoing,
is rough business and not for the faint of heart.
Although it is sometimes arrived at out of exhaustion,
a half-heartedness from trying to fulfill another’s destiny,
from trying to fulfill a destiny other than one’s own.

Landing, finally, in my own body, my own corporeal soul,
that word that is the concrete refuge, the heartened wood.
I give the green arising of this vitality free rein, free reign.

 

15 January 2007
Fairfax, California
Janice Sandeen

1 2 4 6 8 9 11 14 21 43

Numbers easier, much less difficult

Sound and frequency, both

Like taking a nap, three dogs lying

Eight colors beyond the norm

 

Return me to the home that was never exiled

Fortify through threads of a new order, fiber and fabric

Restore the sequence that has no gaps, no intervals

Can we let on to that Being that is?

 

Put aside all strain along with attempts at castigation

Nine wonders, crying all the way

Only then returning, retuning, purify

Ghostly resonance in C-sharp major

 

Daughters of inconsolable mind

Still walking upright inside their bones

Wending, wayfaring, heart drenching

We are all here, hear inside these tones

 

One, two, three and more

I am finding you now, I find you

Even when there is no lost

Filament tracings, cymatic trail

 

The heart, the denseness of the forest,

Mineral refinement sediment seep

Again, yes again, it is here

Holding so much, all in one place together

 

Four lines, matters not of anything seen

Ten wishes opening into one

Passionate gesticulation, a thing done

While recognizing freely ordered grace

 

One Two Four

Six Eight Nine

Two Five

Three Seven

 

Introducing ~ Communing With Animals page on Facebook by Janice Sandeen

Through Communing With Animals, I offer interactive consultations, which naturally neutralize opposites that often bring unnecessary polarization (aka stressors) between you and your companion animals or any other relating or environmental situation you share with animals. Any seemingly minor stressor can be the perfect opportunity to open to a more expanded level of awareness between you and your companion animal. These sessions have been life-changing for my clients, as well as opportunities to bring in new levels of relaxation, thus well-being into body, mind, and one’s life in general!

P1210503

Working w/Joya, Coby, & Marcia (behind camera) in a Communing With Animals session ~ Forest Knolls, CA

Although I more commonly offer in-person sessions, my work also extends to interactions via phone, Skype, and even email dialogue. I also have created a new page on Facebook called ‘Communing With Animals’, which I cordially invite you to check out, as it has many great in situ photos with insightful and inspirational shares about each of these photos, among many other communing opportunities to consider:

https://www.facebook.com/JaniceSandeenCommuningWithAnimals/

IMG_20150713_160406856_HDR

Blue, my canine companion and Blue Heeler, travels with me and provides non-confrontational socializing for many of the animals & people we meet, commune with, and provide consults for.

DSCN2196

Ketzel in action, playing ~ Woodacre, CA ~ visit my Testimonial page to read the inspiring story of Ketzel shedding his fears.

Brightness Spectrum

The day seemed brighter than usual in the most uncanny of ways.

The creek could be heard flowing and the flies and bees buzz

was also heard more clearly than usual. But amidst all of these patterns,

there was something else fractured and marred beyond

any usual glimpse of what life could be or look like.

 

There was the stimulation of things unknown,

which is always there for the taking or playing with ~

but today it was more like the unknown of the unknown.

Unknowing squared. It’s not quite like a double negative.

Unknown and more unknown is just the unknown.

 

It may seem odd to ask, “what do we know

about the unknown?”–but it’s precisely that

kind of question that is needed at times.

 

The words tick on like seconds on a clock,

like bees returning to the hive,

like water flowing ever down, down, down.

 

The words themselves are sometimes the only clues

and today those clues are: brighter, fractured,

marred, stimulation, unknown, uncanny,

double negative, and even a few yet spoken.

 

If I could grind up these words to make a pigment

to paint with, these would be music more than color,

the music of thunder, the shudder of forces of nature

coming into contact and then departing or dispersing.

 

How could anything as broken as fractured stimulation

become the clue to some of the greatest mysteries of being?

How could something as uncanny as a double negative

serve a higher cause than the brightness of a day?

 

How fortunate to be inside the Rubik’s Cube of sound itself

such that even sound follows a brightness spectrum.

But there are days such as these.

 

Janice Sandeen ~ 26 March 2017

written while virtually “attending” the writing jam w/Daniel Ari

spoken at The Spoken Word Open Mic in Taos, NM @ SOMOS

introducing Zero Point Collaborative

DSCN2062

Zero Point Collaborative is currently an inception, a vision, a knowing at this time and season of Spring 2017, yet it* is calling me to bring it on. Slowly Zero Point Collaborative is showing me where and how it will emerge on the visible or external/physical plane. I am so looking forward to collaborating with you and the zero point field of YOU!

Please do stayed tuned in with me and more will SOON be revealed ❤

[Here on Contemplative Fire, Zero Point Collaborative has it’s own pages and heading and may soon have a site all it’s own. For now, it has the companions of the other aspects of my work & offerings.]

wp-image-88992630jpg.jpg

*  what is Zero Point collaborative? 
Zero Point Collaborative is many things, as it is not “something” per se, it is  an opener, an activator, a container (without actually being something that contains, as in limits), it is a conscious field of awareness in which, continually or simultaneously whatever might be touched within and as this field returns to its most vital emptiness as the zero point of creation and perception both. It is a place to both begin (or resume) collaborating and to experience what serves the very heart of collaboration itself.

DSCN0358

Recipe for Reclamation

This recipe is as old as the ages are old
More ancient than the most ancient of beings, trees, creatures, or even fossils that still reside on this earth plane we take our physical nourishment from
Only, it is a new recipe now for what we are now, every evolutionary iteration that we have in our midst, at this time
We each might need to scour the threads, some very bare, some still shining sovereign, to discern those ancient traces
• 
That return each and every one of us to the most pristine truth of what we are
One recipe stirs within my dreamtime, a sacred housing of the rich multiplicity reaching b e y o n d  whatever amnesias once wracked my living essence down to the bone
I woke to this hunger, letting it crack me open, showing me the journey way to the most hidden of truths
• 
And yet something was needed to nourish me along this way
What recipe to draw from hard ground, the driest of remnants, grit and obscurity; what song?
The very least of these came in order to speak a new language, familiar, yet otherworldly from the deepest chasms that, somehow, I chose to look away from out of fear of not ever finding myself (out of fear of not ever finding  m y s e l f  )

 

9 – 25 November 2016 ~ Arroyo Seco, NM

The Kitchen, the Friend, the Heart of the Question

The small ritual

placing things here

attending with water

adding cleansing agents

rinsing while ordering my world

anew with each breath

of this morning

setting things just so

 

I think of my friend

and how she doesn’t reach out

at least not that I know of

perhaps ordering her world

just so, attending with

what I can only guess at

but still ordering her world

whether it’s apparent or not

 

Which brings me to

the question, the heart of it

as I ask many questions,

each being a facet of the one,

what calls me to pause

in concern (is it concern?)

in a wish for her (what is my wish?)

to find the deepening element

 

That which has its own way

of upsetting the cart, which

carries it all: hers, mine,

yours, ours, and what is

not any of these

Another question filters in,

is it peripheral or the very heart,

as what can be carried is surely external

 

Returning to the kitchen

another cup of tea is poured

My friend perhaps wakes now

almost a thousand miles away

The question is a living vein of

vitality, ardor, nuance –a distillery

extracting the purity of the disturbed,

the trace minerals of this Ancient Now